What is a Moke?

Mokes are young to sometimes middle-aged males of indeterminate race that inhabit the Hawaiian Archipelago. Mokes are characterized by belligerence, they are often seen glaring at others from the backs of height modified pickup trucks, and from the insides of small Japanese sedans, or clustered in shopping malls. At night they can be seen in the parking lots of movie theaters, Zippy's, or various beach parks. Mokes may also be found gathering in the car ports and streets outside their parents house's, or sometimes inside where major activities consist of cutting and dyeing each others hair, or otherwise indulging in video games and body piercings. Older mokes may sometimes be found in seedy night-clubs and drinking establishments, or overseeing the weight training of their progeny.


Mokes love to pose.

Mokes are not prone to intellectual pursuits, thus if they have a job it is usually menial in nature. Most social interactions are governed by self-interest and brutishness. Conversation consists mostly of bluster punctuated by lots of spitting. Since conversation is not the mokes strong point, it is always drowned out at social gatherings and car rides by recordings of shit-talking mainland blacks accompanied by music and rhythm loops, or horrible bastardized local versions of ska and reggae. These (for lack of a better word) musical forms are customarily amplified to ear-splitting level with the bass tracks taking precedence so that the shorter wavelengths are overwhelmed at even moderate listening distances thus the tunes become unrecognizable and can only be appreciated as a series of stomach churning thumps. The reason for this willful distortion is mystifying to normal folks, but what is even more puzzling is when the same techniques are applied to the unlikely acoustics of the inside of automobiles, wherein the long-wave bass at high volumes causes the cars glass, metal, and plastic parts to protest against each other in the form of rattles and various sympathetic vibrations distorting the 'music' even further. The answer for this mystery I believe lies in the fact that great expenditures of money are given over to the purchase of ridiculously powerful bass speakers, amps, etc. thus attributing stature to the owner, and inferior status to those who are not similarly equipped.

Other outward trappings of status are the display of gold chains etc. familiar to our mainland friends as bling, which leads us to moke fashion. Moke fashion is largely dependent on the whim and vagaries of dress among urban mainland blacks. For sure mokes may be found wearing 'slippahs' (flip flops) which no self-respecting fashion-forward gangsta would consider, and there may be some infiltration of surf fashions (mostly eyewear) peculiar to mokedom, but yeah, for the most part ghetto.

If by any chance you encounter a moke do not strike up a conversation. To do so is a waste of time, and may invite bloodshed.